Dear World,
This is an open letter to you from me.
I am a 10 year old version of myself, and I have a few things to ask.
I'd write to God, but, as it happens, he's never given me his forwarding address, although being omnipotent, I imagine he'll be able to read this anyway.
I was wondering, World, if you you clear up a few things I've been told.
Like, were you created by calculation or chance, and are you only 6000 years old?
Seeing as you've been here all this time, I thought you'd be the best person to ask. I know you can't really give an opinion, but in all the times I've asked God something, I've never had any kind of answer back.
So I was wondering, did we start off as single celled organisms existent only in the sea, or did we all come from two naked white people called Adam and Eve?
I've been told that God moves in mysterious ways, but you just seem to move the same way every day, and I must say, that I prefer that notion. That the atmosphere causes tidal waves in the ocean, or that tectonic plates that shift and vibrate causes seismic motion. Not some bloke with a beard and an agenda living in the sky, causes and then casually shrugs off massive genocide.
And on that note, World, did you once entirely flood? It seems illogical to me, but that's what I'm told happened, and like I say, in my opinion I think you're the font.
Did Noah managed to get them all, or did he leave anything we don't know about behind? Massive creatures with wings and flippers and grey fur and teeth? And whats the deal with dinosaurs? Did they ever exist in the first place? I'm confused because I'm being told that smart scientists are wrong, and that the words of a really, really, really old book are to be believed. Even though I've never seen a talking tree. Sounds like some kind of hallucination to me, and what with the server lack of medicinal understanding coupled with their utter lack of knowledge involving the intricacies of the brain, I might suggest that, that bloke was seeing things.
Also, if my vicar is so sure all this stuff happened, why does he go red and take off his glasses and raise his voice when I question there logic.
You can't really answer that though, World, because you're just a ball of chance matter that settled perfectly in one spot and allowed sustenance to grow and mould and shape and grow more. Fauna and flora, and slime, and fish and stuff in-between all that and me.
I've got to say, as a revolving, evolving emotionless ball of water and dirt, I way prefer you to this selfish, vein, anarchic butthole the Vicar keeps telling me about. He just seems like a twat.
Thanks, World.
Regards,
10 Year Old Me
